Butch
Butch Lockley
Posts: 331
|
Post by Butch on Jun 3, 2013 9:40:03 GMT -5
So congrats Jeanne, sorry for being so late with my question. I've already vented in Heidi's thread about my view on being "threat" in the game so I won't repeat that here. But I will ask you to focus a bit more on another topic near and dear to my heart, and that is integrity. Again, being a former educator I have to make it like school, so please write me an essay describing your thoughts on integrity. Include your real life experiences and this game experiences to explain your position. Also, what does a person's integrity in an ORG say about their real life integrity? Thanks.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2013 17:18:38 GMT -5
AT A CROSSROADS
Integrity to me is about submitting myself to ethical and moral codes, and fighting for something one believes in. For this essay, I’ll be explaining integrity in two different aspects of my life---my real life and my Survivor Org life. Remember, this is an Org game and this season has not come to an end yet, and I don’t want to give away my true identity with a concern it might affect jurors’ decision on casting their vote for me. So I will include fragments of my real life experience without giving away too much to support my essay.
Jeanne, in real life is an individual who finds herself at a crossroads time and again, because she is nothing but a human in her mid-20s with a hunger to be well off professionally which will give her the liberty to start focusing on her social life and hopefully, get married and start a family. Yes, she has an old soul and still believes in old school charm, values and tradition but with an open mind. To Jeanne, these components are synonymous to integrity. Yes, she has often been reminded of being an old soul mostly on her first date(s)…most of them were facetious. She believes the world today is stripped of its mannerism, courteousness and integrity. No wonder she found it was daunting dating individuals in her city because one out of 10 turned out to be honest about oneself during the date, about expectations and desire of a relationship. And that one was either a rebound case or miserably stuck in the fading happy past. As for Jeanne, she preferred being bluntly honest (not a good thing sometimes) because she has nothing to lose by being honest and it’s less hassle! But Jeanne believes it’s perfectly fine to lie for a good reason. Like how she compliments on her date’s outfit because she is doesn’t want to come across as a condescending queen by giving styling tips on the first date. Another thing about Jeanne is that she is a hard worker and always believed in taking the hard route, not because she likes to be challenged but with the hard route comes new experiences that hone one’s skill and talent. And her mama has been right all along---hard work never goes unanswered if executed in a right and ethical manner. Perhaps had she taken an easy route, she would have been professionally and socially settled by now, but she can’t do it even if she wants to because that’s not who she is.
Jeanne, in Survivor ORG life is an individual who feeds her competitive soul by playing a bold game with a simple yet rewarding hope to become the sole survivor. But being competitive is a double-edged sword because even though it helps in winning the challenges (most of the time) it also marks the player as challenge threat. Jeanne learnt this in a hard way and after couple of experiences with survivor org she found the right strategy tactic: the art of balancing her competitive and rational sides. Being a hard worker in real life, she always contributed the most in her tribe challenges and in this season her contribution helped women to win majority of the tribe challenges thereby giving them a huge lead in terms of numbers. Her rational side always encourages her to do a “fair to decent” job in the individual challenges post merge so as to deflect the target coming her way, if any. And she was glad she listened to her rational side this season while other players like Butch, Ryan, Jenna and Joanna were targeted as strong challenge threats. She only unleashed her competitive soul when the situation called for it---final 4 and final 3 challenge. True, Jeanne is always a social player and one she believes is her forte that helped her to go far in some of the Survivor Orgs she played. By being social, she is being her true self to players she interact with because that’s how she earns/earned their trust. She is also fiercely loyal to her allies. And these are the easiest things for Jeanne playing Survivor with integrity.
Now moving on to the darker side of Survivor where Jeanne’s integrity was often tested or in rare circumstances it took the back seat. True, Jeanne made secret alliance with Joanna prior to challenge one and then she accepted to Jenna’s F2 alliance. Then her guilt conscience struck her hard (now this I believe is my integrity disguised as my guilt conscience) because she don’t want to give her word to two people for F2 alliance and then having to choose between them. Call it an intervention from above or my paranoia (as Jenna would put it), Jeanne decided not to trust Jenna when she openly voiced her praise and support for Shawna and then forth with her “fake final four” alliance strategy. But Jeanne figured if she (my paranoia in works) turned down Jenna’s alliance, she might be replaced with someone else and be targeted by Jenna the first opportunity she finds. This was when Jeanne decided to go against her integrity by making Jenna believe she was her trusted ally. To make it up for her guilt conscience and her loyalty to Joanna she told her about everything about her involvement with Jenna that transpired from then on to the night when Joanna took the boot. During the this season, Jeanne’s friendship and loyalty for Joanna was tested when she falsely believed Joanna found the HII because they both came up with two closest answers for guessing the player name and Jeanne’s turned out to be wrong and then she didn’t hear back from Joanna for rest of the day (she has her real life to tend to which Jeanne didn’t realize). Then Jeanne decided to submit her answer to the host suspecting Joanna guessed it right and not sharing the news with me. As it turned out Joanna’s answer was correct but host informed me someone beat her to it. The paranoia made Jeanne believe Joanna wasn’t honest with her as Jeanne was with her. This was when Jeanne started seeking out other players (Deena and Heidi) with a hope one of them will be her final two ally. Deena, due to her work schedule, made it hard for them to communicate effectively but in one of the passing conversation they lightly touched base on final two alliances and Jeanne hoped it’d work. Next thing she knew there was a long null in their communication and no one is to be blamed for that. Jeanne decided her alliance with Deena has been dissolved. On the other hand, Heidi and Jeanne had gotten closer and reached that trust level so they shook hands on their final two deal. Jeanne still felt she was betraying Joanna and decided to give her the benefit of doubt and decided to talk it out with her to find if she really had the idol. At the same time, Jeanne told Jenna of her attempt at acquiring the HII, when she told Jeanne that she found the HII. Jeanne felt like a jerk for even suspecting Joanna. And now she was stuck with two final two alliances. Being a woman of integrity, Jeanne told Joanna about her decision to bring Heidi in to the fold and she also told Joanna about Jenna having HII in her possession. Personally, Jeanne decided if the time comes, she would choose Joanna over Heidi because she gave her word to Joanna since day one of this season. Fast forwarding to an hour before Butch’s tribal, Joanna told Jeanne about Deena’s attempt of forming a final four deal with Ryan and Butch. Deena invited Joanna to be part of the alliance. Next thing that happened was Deena messaged Jeanne enquiring about her position in this game and Jeanne decided right then to play her to get information out of her. As it turned out, she wanted Jeanne to team up with herself, Ryan and Butch. Then Jeanne heard a different thing from Butch that Shawna, Deena and Ryan are voting with him. This was when her paranoia hit its peak and she decided to play them all and blindside Butch. And worst, they were targeting Heidi. Jeanne went out on a limb to save Heidi without giving it a second thought that her action will possibly affect two people’s (Deena and Butch) opinion about her as a person and a player. Had Jeanne played with her integrity prior to this tribal, the game would’ve taken a different turn for sure, one not in favor of Jeanne.
Later in the game I, Jeanne, thought, “how could some people, as jurors, point fingers at me by terming me as a liar, cheat, manipulative *itch and a person without a spine (all these are pretty much opposite of integrity) when they themselves lied/manipulated and might’ve cheated at some point in this game unless they are like Heidi, a coattail rider(s) who just got by aligning with someone like me who did the heavy lifting by having blood in her hands???” Don’t get me wrong but Heidi is a nice woman and a loyal ally but at the same time she did nothing in this game aside from staying under radar and aligning herself to me. Admitting to one’s flaws is the hardest thing to do and to do that takes gumption and integrity, which I believe having both I admitted to lying and betraying Jenna. I admitted lying to Butch in my message to him after tribal when he asked me after tribal if he was taking the boot. I admitted that I betrayed Shawna even though she was possibly playing out the future possibility of getting rid of me. I admitted that I lied and backstabbed Deena. If I didn’t posses integrity I would have lied to the jurors or said things to please them just to win over their votes. But I didn’t, because that is not who I am as person in real life and as a player in this game. And when there was much speculation about me cheating the puzzle by completing it in 1:10, I took it in my stride and I redid the puzzle “live” with the host and beat Ryan’s score (again) to save my integrity and innocence.
I believe a person’s integrity in Survivor Org or the Survivor the reality show, only partially emanates the person’s integrity in real life. Because Survivor is all about outwit (lying and outsmarting/backstabbing/betraying), outplay (executing the right strategy) and outlast (winning the challenges at right time and make the right decision) unlike real life where we lay out the rules and foundation how to go on living our lives. Hence I find myself at a crossroads time and again but I always know which route to choose…the difficult one. Be it a victorious or failure yet learning experience one in the end.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2013 17:20:12 GMT -5
I welcome other juror's comments directly messaged to me or posted in their own jury thread. I don't any post(s) other than Butch's to be present in this jury thread.
Thanks guys!
Jeanne
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2013 17:47:39 GMT -5
Edits:
Me = her/Jeanne.
|
|